do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
