I murdered the dance floor call the cops
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
