Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Randomize
