I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
The adults are the big ones right?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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