I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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