Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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