youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
