She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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