you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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