I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
