He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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