Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
