Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
