Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
