the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
