You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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