good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
