I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
