Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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