So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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