I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Randomize
