In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
