All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
