So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
