the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
My ass is underappreciated
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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