I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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