Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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