Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
