i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
