i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
