I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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