Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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