Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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