I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
