i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
