Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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