ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
