in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
