sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
