id be glad to
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
