im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Randomize
