I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
