Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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