i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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