so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
