i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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