guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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