out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
