y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
