Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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