You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
